SOL20 D15

I can’t stop reading. The statistics, the news reports, the projections, the predictions. I can’t stop looking at the headlines and wondering when/if the virus will reach us. How will this look?

I’m trying not to think about all the movies I’ve seen that portray a life unlike anything we’ve ever known - the Birdboxes and the Quiet Places. My mom instinct has kicked in - I want to hoard, I want to bunker, I want to do everything I can to make sure my people are safe. But how to do that when I don’t even know what safe looks like. 

I imagine it has to do with protection - how do I protect myself from the spiral of bad news. How do I protect my family from what’s unknown. How do I protect teachers from being overloaded. How do we collectively protect each other? 

Because really that’s what at the heart of this. Protection, not just ourselves, but protecting life as we know it. Which means we’re going to have live a life as we don’t know it for a little bit. And that’s really hard for all of us.

We cancelled our spring break trip today. We were going to drive to Orlando, like we've done the past 7 years. The kids are furious. With me mostly. But I know I'm just the target of all the unknowns in their life. 

I tried to introduce a routine and the kids revolted. Emma rolled her eyes so hard I think I heard them crack. She thinks getting up by 9 am is ridiculous. Jacob did that thing where his eyes well up with tears, but instead of showing his emotion, he gets mad and acts like he's not. Justin cried.

Bedtime was slow tonight. I rubbed lots of backs. Said lots of prayers. Gave long hugs. 

What else can we do?