SOL20 D27 Five Friday Reflections On the Week

My dear friend Bri has started writing again and the text she sent me this morning inspired me. I love the way Bri is structuring her writing during this time, and so I'm standing on her shoulders for today's post. Thanks, Bri!

Things That Made Me Smile
Greg reffing driveway basketball games. The sun on our faces. Walks in the neighborhood, seeing people on porches. Sitting on my porch, watching kids walk by with their parents. The little girl who wouldn't say hi, but blew me a kiss. Hostas I planted last year poking up through the mulch - I'd forgotten all about them. Video chatting with my sisters, my neighbor, my colleagues. Picking up a hobby: I decided to try cross-stitch and ordered myself a kid last week. Turns out I ordered an embroidery kit, and I'm really loving it. The game Psych, an app that allows you to play with people all over. We played several times this week, and I got such a kick out of the haikus my family wrote about me -- I feel so seen (and yes, that is a picture of my 8th grade self).

Things That Made Me Lose My Shit
Greg hardly ever gets on my nerves, but on Sunday when he decided to test out the video chatting with his students WHILE I was video chatting with my sisters, I thought I might make him move to the back porch. Let's just say, this upcoming week is going to be a challenge on both the wi-fi capabilities and our teamwork. And just all the talking. There's so much talking all the time. The last time I spent this much time with the kids at home, they still took a 3-hour nap in the afternoon. They don't want to do that anymore.

Things I'm Grieving This Week
Missing spring break and the traditions we've built going to Florida the last several years. Missing my niece's first birthday (thank God for Zoom). Knowing that Emma and Jacob will be celebrating their 13th birthday without any real fanfare. Normalcy and routine. Confidence in the "system." When I talk to people in healthcare, I get scared. Haircuts - all the boys in this house are in desperate need.

Thing I'm Celebrating This Week
A week where I think we created some great memories. Finding a new normal and routine. Embracing a slower pace. Getting back on my bike and doing a few peloton workouts this week (I want to do more!). Eating meals together - lunch AND dinner!

Gratitude
I have so much gratitude for people who protect us - anyone who works in healthcare, all the people at the grocery store, the people who are keeping things familiar. And they do it knowing that they might become exposed to the virus. I'm in awe of these people. I'm thankful for hugs from Justin; every time he sees me, he leans over to give me a hug. I'm so grateful for technology that allows us to feel a little less isolated, a little more productive, and to continue working. And books! I'm always grateful for books. I'm reading three books right now - Untamed by Glennon Doyle (another thanks to Bri!), Stamped by Ibram Kendi and Jason Reynolds, and Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson. Oh, and Dewey's Edgar Allan Poe pizza.

#SOL20 D24 Having Three Kids While Sheltering-in-Place

It's funny that time has slipped so quickly since the last time I wrote. Five days.

I've been proud of the kids in these last few days. They're finding things to do. They're spending too much time on screens, but they're also building marble runs and finishing room re-dos (Emma's ready for her reveal tomorrow!). They're shooting hoops and laughing and bonding. They'll remember this time together for the rest of their lives.

The boys have slept in the same room every night since this has started. No matter how hard they fight during the day, they want to bunk together. First, Jacob made a nest bed (our family name for a floor bed) up until yesterday. Now, because Greg's working on painting Justin's room, the boys have moved to Jacob's room.

Justin's room is long overdue for a remake; he had a peeling wallpaper mural that had been there when we moved in (10 years ago!). Justin really wants to paint his room orange...I've talked him into a light gray with one small wall (his closet) painted blue.

Emma and I went for a drive today. We cruised around, looking at closed businesses, watching people out for walks. We talked and laughed. We listened to music, she told me stories about her friends.

Today Emma and Jacob started wrestling. They're nearly 13, and as Emma dropped on top of Jacob, trapping him underneath her, I was thrown back 10 years when they used to wrestle in exactly the same way.

The three of them are having a hard time figuring out how to wrestle together. Justin ends up watching them wrestle. Or Emma ends up watching the boys go at it. It can be hard to have three. But mostly, I'm so grateful for them.

#SOL20 D20 The second time we called the fire station

It was about three months after the first time (see Thursday's post if you're not sure).  Now the twins were three and so, so busy. It was lunch time and Justin was eating all the time. I could barely keep up.

This day it was chicken nuggets. I don't even remember now how exactly it happened, but before I knew it, there was a chicken nugget on fire in the oven. On fire. In the oven.

Well, I panicked. I had three under three in my house. I wasn't sure what to do. Did I open the oven and risk spreading the flames (that was a thing, right?), or did I pull out the extinguisher and hope it didn't spread?

So I grabbed the cordless phone (I loved that phone! I miss it!) and we ran out onto the porch. I called 911 this time.

"So, I just have a really small fire in my oven," I tried to keep my voice calm. After reciting my address and name, I went on to say, "Can you not send a bunch of fire trucks? I really don't think it's that big of a deal."

Well, that is not how it works.

So, three fire engines raced to our door in record time (Jacob and Emma were delighted). They marched into the house, and by the time they got there the chicken nugget that had been burning had turned into...


a black, charred rock. No longer on fire. But it had filled the kitchen with smoke. They still had to spray the oven, just to be sure, I guess.

They were so kind. I was so mortified.

SOL20 D18 That time we called the firestation

We've been telling lots of stories lately. Yesterday, we sat on the front porch and the kids and I reminisced about their early days, the days when I didn't work and we spent a lot of time together. The days that feel a lot like now (except I'm still working, just remotely now).

They remember so much, but in a funny way, through the lens of childhood. They started talking about, "Mom, remember when you had to call the fire station?"

We had just moved to the new house. Justin was a brand new baby. It was early spring and I came downstairs to get ready for the day. Greg left the house early and as I walked into the kitchen, I could feel a breeze. I stepped into the back room and saw that the sliding glass door in the back room was open.

I freaked out.

I gathered the kids (2 year old twins and a brand new baby) and headed to my new neighbor's house. I called the non-emergency line: "I think someone's been in our house." The officers were so kind. They met me at my front door. The kids stayed with the neighbors.

The officers went through our home. They checked the basement. The attic. The looked at the door jamb. "M'am, nothing appears to be missing. Your laptop is here. I think you're okay. Are you sure there's no way someone from the inside left the door open?" I shook my head. "Maybe one of the kids?" I assured them that my kids were only two and they didn't even know how to open that door.

They left. It was a mystery. I felt a little better.

Later that day, 2-year-old Jacob toddled into the back room. He walked right over to the sliding door, reached his little hand up, unlocked the door, and walked out to the back porch.

Mystery solved.

SOL20 D17 Easing into our days

We saw a little sunshine in Ohio today, so the family headed down to the Loveland Dairy Whip, our beloved soft serve ice cream place. Their walk-up window and drive-thru are still open for now. After the mile or so walk (most of it downhill), Greg realized that he'd have to head back home and get the van. Thank God! I was already dreading the walk back up the hill. 

It felt good to be out. We saw quite a few neighbors on their way to an outing social isolation style - some headed to the park, some on a walk. We saw miniature daffodils that had sprung from a neighbor's side yard. It was assuring to see that nature is still doing its thing. We came home and played basketball and then Uno sitting on the front porch. 

We're easing into our days. The boys are rediscovering Legos. Emma is still working on her room re-do: tomorrow she paints! We tried an experiment that one of the teachers posted on FB. We unearthed a never-before-used art kit. We tried to watch a Mo Willems video, but the boys started wrestling half way through and I tossed them down to the basement.

Greg and I are trying to figure out how to balance our own "stuff" with parenting (and co-parenting). Our kids are big, but they still need us so much (like, so, so much). 

I am still scared, but am also leaning into being able to slow down. And I acknowledge what a privilege that is. We can both work from home. We are not food insecure. We can use technology to keep us connected (we had a great Zoom session with my in-laws). I hate that for so many families, they don't have the same opportunities. 

#SOL20 D16 Yay for resources!

This image sums up our day. Thank goodness for all the online resources that are available to us. Between https://jarrettlerner.com/ and his resources, the unearthed Legos that Greg has been sorting for the boys, and Emma having a purpose for making a proposal to redo her room, we had a pretty good day.

And this meme just felt so apropos. I notice more grays every day. I got a hair cut last week, and though she didn't mention my "sparkles", I know the time is coming when I will be tempted to color my hair. But, now now and I'm glad for it!

SOL20 D15

I can’t stop reading. The statistics, the news reports, the projections, the predictions. I can’t stop looking at the headlines and wondering when/if the virus will reach us. How will this look?

I’m trying not to think about all the movies I’ve seen that portray a life unlike anything we’ve ever known - the Birdboxes and the Quiet Places. My mom instinct has kicked in - I want to hoard, I want to bunker, I want to do everything I can to make sure my people are safe. But how to do that when I don’t even know what safe looks like. 

I imagine it has to do with protection - how do I protect myself from the spiral of bad news. How do I protect my family from what’s unknown. How do I protect teachers from being overloaded. How do we collectively protect each other? 

Because really that’s what at the heart of this. Protection, not just ourselves, but protecting life as we know it. Which means we’re going to have live a life as we don’t know it for a little bit. And that’s really hard for all of us.

We cancelled our spring break trip today. We were going to drive to Orlando, like we've done the past 7 years. The kids are furious. With me mostly. But I know I'm just the target of all the unknowns in their life. 

I tried to introduce a routine and the kids revolted. Emma rolled her eyes so hard I think I heard them crack. She thinks getting up by 9 am is ridiculous. Jacob did that thing where his eyes well up with tears, but instead of showing his emotion, he gets mad and acts like he's not. Justin cried.

Bedtime was slow tonight. I rubbed lots of backs. Said lots of prayers. Gave long hugs. 

What else can we do?