Day 16: Battle of the bathroom

Two minutes earlier Emily and I had been locked in battle.

She was taking too long in the bathroom and as a one-bathroom house, I needed her to finish. Now. And, in a dance familiar to anyone who lives with a 13-year-old and an 11-year-old, the more I needed it, the longer she was going to take.

"Let me in!" I pounded on the door. I could her her laughing. She infuriated me.

I went to open the door, the one with no lock, only to find it wouldn't budge. The toilet was positioned across from the door. Emily had stuck her feet out, creating a wedge so the door wouldn't open. That jerk.

I strained against the door, trying to get her to budge. I could only imagine the she was straining just as hard. We both gritted our teeth, bellowing in frustration.

Then, CRAACCCKKKK.

Oh. Crap.

"ohmygodohmygodohmygod."

The door suddenly gave and I burst through it. The toilet was now gushing water. Emily was panicking.

We had broken the toilet. The porcelain tank had cracked when Emily was pushing up against it with her back.

"ohmygodhohmygodohmygod." I joined in the chant.

Mortal enemies a mere minute ago, we were now bonded in this crime. We raced for towels to sop up the water.

Our mom was due home any minute. What would we tell her? There is no greater feeling of solidarity between sisters than when you have to unite against your parent.

We cooked up a story about Emily's knee having popped out of place, causing her to fall into the toilet. Both of us had a condition that during puberty caused our knee caps to painfully dislocate for a few awful minutes. We knew our mom hated this for us, and we suspected she wouldn't ask a lot of questions, but be full of worry and sympathy.

We were right.

The relief we felt with having gotten away with this foolishness should have been the catalyst for setting us on a more peaceful path. Alas, it was not. We continued to wage war against each other for years. Now we can laugh at these ridiculous stories, though my mother, as you can imagine, doesn't quite see the humor, even 30 years later.