Whiteness

My armpits are sweaty, ya'll. I just taught a hard class. In my juniors level methods class, we just watched the beautiful piece "Danger of Silence" by Clint Smith.

In this piece, Smith talks about all kinds of ways we silence ourselves and the price we pay for that silence. He talked about empowering students. He spoke poetically about unlocking his voice, about being an amplifier.

I should have known then that they were not ready for what I'd brought this day.

After a discussion, in which several students said that sometimes it's better to be polite than to speak out -- has ever a more privileged sentence been uttered? -- we read the blog post 10 Things White Teachers Should Know When Talking About Race. 

They were not having it. Ya'll. So many of them were not ready for this text.

My class of 20 white kids, all from various economic backgrounds, were uncomfortable. More than that, they were angry. More than that, they were offended. They took issue with the author's definition of racism. "You can't just change definitions," they said, pointing to the one on google dictionary that clearly states it's possible for black people to be racist. I could see their own experiences of being the subjects of bias and prejudice brimming behind their eyes. They all had a "well, one time..." story to share.

Folks. I am not sure I was the right teacher for this today. But I'm the one who showed up. So as they sat in groups of three, wrestling with the text and with each other, I hustled around the room, listening, trying to make my face void of judgement, trying to create a space where we can wrestle with these ideas together.

And then we ran out of time. Damnit. Why does that class go so fast?

At the end of class, I faced them and said, "Folks, we'll continue these conversations on Thursday. But remember that this is a space where we're learning together. Where we're going to have hard conversations and feel a little uncomfortable. And that's okay. Where sometimes we won't agree. And that's okay. But we're going to keep talking about these things."

I don't know if it's the right thing. But it's the next thing.